Awww, finally a second to sit down and no one is even sitting on me or touching me, it’s a glorious thing folks…glorious…especially today.
Charlotte had her first real day of preschool yesterday. She had a great time and is thrilled to be in preschool, However, Trever is not taking it well. I didn’t see this coming. He has been a HOT MESS the entire time she’s gone.
If I’m not holding him he is crying, it’s super fun. The extra fun part about it today was that he had the broom out and when he realized his sister was gone (his cue to start crying incessantly) he was still holding said broom (with a death grip) so I got to try and comfort/hold him with the broom in his hand.
We sat this way for about 45 minutes and by then I was dying inside because I hadn’t even cleaned up the kitchen, done laundry or any of the hundred things I wanted to try and get done while Charlotte was gone. And as hard as I tried to enjoy it because he will only be little like this once, it just wasn’t working. I was just annoyed, no way around it.
I tried to convince him to let go of the broom and get down and play but that wasn’t working. Luckily, I had a flash of inspiration…..”Make him a smoothie.” Duh! A smoothie, why didn’t I think of that before? He loves smoothies.
The smoothie kept him happy long enough for me to gather up all the laundry in the house and hide the broom. He was very willing to ride down to the basement in the laundry bin, and thanks to the power of the smoothie, he played happily for about ten minutes while I threw in two loads of laundry. (Did you know I have two washers? It makes me so happy…I only have one bathroom but I have two washers.)
The smoothie power was obviously not as strong as I had hoped. After that second washer lid closed it was like the crying button got pushed again. This time, the only way to satiate him was to go outside. We played in the yard for a minute, and then I put him in the bike seat and rode around the cul-de-sac about a hundred times, until sister finally got home from preschool.
Seriously Trev, we’ve gotta figure this out. Mommy.is.not.doing.this.every.time.
Once Sis was home (she wasn’t even playing with him, let alone paying him any attention) he was fine. WHAT??? Apparently he loves Charlotte a lot more than I realized. Probably almost as much as he loves the broom…and the trampoline…
After school, things got a little chaotic and I got dinner started late…we have to be totally done by 6:15 on Thursdays so Thatcher can get to practice by 6:30.
I was chopping like a mad man to make hash-browns and had enlisted Conner to stir the sausage gravy. Trever was doing his best to destroy everything. Thatcher, Dad, Charlotte and Trever ended up having to eat before the hash-browns were done, and they were probably still a little late to practice. It was just one of those days.
Conner and I ate after they left because Conner didn’t get to go to practice tonight….Here comes the Spit Ball section of the post.
Last night at scouts Conner got in trouble for spitting Spit Balls at the ceiling in his scout room. I was in the building (it’s our church building) having an activity with 8-12 year old girls. So one of his leaders came to find me.
When I saw Conner’s Scout Leader come to the door I immediately knew something was wrong. She told me that he was spitting spit balls, they had asked him to stop an he did it again.
All in one second my heart sank and I saw red, flaming red. My heart sank because I knew that Conner most likely wasn’t trying to be bad. I was 90% sure that he had gotten lost in his own head and dream world shooting at bad guys or something and didn’t realize he had actually (in real-life) started spitting the spit balls again, And I saw red, flaming red because I wanted to kick his little butt all the way to China! This is not the first incident with spit balls. We have had a talk about spit balls. And particularly a talk about spit balls at the church. Somewhere in the church kitchen is a box of straws and he finds one and uses it to make spit balls, usually outside (in a kind of forest-y area by the parking lot) while he waits for me after my meeting.
Even then, I don’t like him doing it, but he’s a boy, and apparently shooting a spit ball makes you feel like a human machine gun or something so we had talked and set some boundaries and I THOUGHT he understood that it was NEVER OKAY TO SPIT SPIT BALLS IN THE CHURCH.
When I walked back to the room with his leader, I didn’t even get the door open all the way before I see his tearful face, and he is just spewing out “I’m sorry’s,” and “you should take Boom Beach (his favorite video game) away for a year,” and “I should never be able to….”
His teacher pointed up to the ceiling where there were four or five spitballs stuck on a florescent light cover, even though it was fewer then I thought, I was still fuming inside. I told him to clean it up RIGHT NOW and then come talk to me in the hall.
I then realized while I was in the hall that I was not going to let him go back into scouts tonight so I had him go back in and apologize to both his leaders before coming out in the hall with me.
Because the hall was a little crowded I took him outside for the ear-chewing.
There was another incident at scouts about six months ago (another, he didn’t realize what he was doing type of incident.) I know all boys are unaware to a degree, but it is a real issue for Conner in school and, as you can see, everywhere else. It actually breaks my heart on a regular basis and we are REALLY REALLY trying to help him. And he really is doing SO much better.
Yesterday was just a little set back. The positive (if there is one) is that it gave us a chance to talk about some important things and Conner actually had a couple much needed epiphanies during the conversation.
I don’t remember where I started exactly, We talked about how he will NEVER, NEVER EVER get another straw out of the church kitchen. We talked about how inappropriate it is to shoot spit balls in the church building. How inappropriate it is to shoot spitballs during scouts. How inappropriate it is to disrespect your scout leaders by doing something they specifically asked you not to.
Conner learned a new word. Blatant Disrespect. I explained to him that when someone specifically asks you not to do something and then you do it, (whether you mean to or not) that is called Blatant Disrespect, and even the very nicest people in the world get frustrated and upset when someone treats them with Blatant Disrespect.
I went further by explaining that his leaders only see him once a week, “They don’t see you every day like I do. They don’t see all the great helpful amazing things you do everyday like I do. And because they only see you once a week, if you have a big “unaware” moment, like today shooting spit balls, or like the time a few months ago when you threw your coat at Brother Knox, unfortunately, there is a good chance your leaders will start thinking of you as someone who causes trouble and makes it hard for them to instruct the group instead of someone who is helpful and awesome, like I know you are. When someone is your teacher or leader you need to care about how they see you behaving because they form their opinion of you from their time spent with you which in some cases, like scouts, is not very much.
This seemed to really resignate with him along with my spill on self control and knowing yourself. “Even if someone tells you to put the straw away in your pocket, you need to know yourself well enough and have pre-set ideas to help yourself have self control. In this case it would have been best to get the straw totally away from yourself or throw it away. Right? ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAD A STRAW IN THE CHURCH IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I did pretty good to stay calm through most of our conversation, but every time I thought of him having the stupid straw and spitting spit balls in the church I could hardly see straight.
Tonight instead of going to play at the park during Thatcher’s practice Conner had to stay home and work on apology notes for his Scout Leaders. He also isn’t allowed to play Boom Beach until Monday. I didn’t feel like he needed a stronger punishment because he was truly repentant and feels really bad about what he did.
Although if you ask Conner there isn’t a worse punishment then writing a letter. Unless it’s writing two….I snuck pictures of these that he left on his desk. The first one he rejected (you can see the cross thru it) The second one is the one he is going to send to them. I love how he worked in Blatant Disrespect to the second draft and that he says he had no idea that it existed but now he does.
What a kid! What a kid! Love that boy!
Keep it Real!!!